CURRENT INS AND OUTS
Just a lil sumn sumn to keep the girlies fed until I get off my ass and write something forreal
Current ins and outs:
IN:
E-books
Real reading gang will shame me for this. I don’t care. I’ll still be a paperback lover ‘til the end, but the convenience is undeniable. The Libby app allows you to rent virtually any popular e-book, and you can get a temporary library card number for free online (at least for my county). And did you know you could pirate books? I don’t know why I never thought of that. So far, I’ve read: Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover, Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats by T.S. Eliot, Girls Can Kiss Now: Essays by Jill Gutowitz, The Journals of Sylvia Plath, Later by Stephen King, and Violet Bent Backwards Over the Grass by Lana Del Rey. The best part of all was that I only hated half of them!
I’m currently reading Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino and If I Did It by Fred and Kim Goldman (originally penned by OJ Simpson). Let me know if you want book reviews, because I can’t use Goodreads. Letterboxd and I are monogamous.
Pop music
I don’t trust anyone who shits on pop music in 2023. It was the cool thing to do as kids to prove you “weren’t like other girls”, but I’m an adult now and I love Charli XCX.
Staring out the window
Best hobby. Staring out the window is the most crucial step in the writing process and the smoking weed process. Get into it.
As Twitter plunges deeper and deeper away from usability, a new supreme has arisen. Threads. It’s okay. All the Twitter clones are just okay. They simply lack the secret sauce that made Twitter stand above the rest. My day doesn’t feel right if I’m not being assaulted with politics and gaping anuses at 7 am.
I’m already over Threads, but I’m not over the potential fight between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg. Like yes, enemies-to-lovers arc!! The conflict is so juicy.
Musk has done nothing with his Twitter acquisition besides highlighting all the positive changes Mark Zuckerberg has made with Instagram the past few years. Every Instagram update used to be such an eyeroll moment—“oh, great, they’re copying Snapchat with the stories,” “who the hell asked for reels?” Yet, at least every new feature actually added to the app experience, unlike fucking Musk’s tweet viewing limit. Changing the font was the worst crime of all. Instagram for the win.
Celebrity scandals
As someone who needs constant YouTube commentaries and video essays playing in the background, drama channels are a guilty pleasure. It’s starting to become unfun because of the gravity of allegations (Colleen Ballinger, James Charles), but I like learning about pop culture things so I can scoop the people around me. And I’m nosy.
Clout goggles/Kurt Cobain sunglasses
In late 2021, I predicted that the trend cycle is coming around so fast that 2017 will be in style. I was right. The loud, orange camouflage joggers have become the realistic camo that hunters and conservative families in Walmart wear. I think it’s absolutely hideous, by the way. Next to join the trend cycle are the clout goggles.
Fashion revolves around rich people. Right now, all the influencers are flexing their skinny Bayonetta glasses, but after the common consumer gets them, big shades will be in. It’s like how everyone got on that Ozempic wave after more and more people got BBLs. Watch me be right.
I would also like to comment that I thought the Bayonetta glasses were exclusive to people who got really good grades in science (derogatory). The glasses-wearers I know all look back on their rectangular-glasses phases with disgust, as these Pinterest bitches will in the coming years.
Rewatching things
Rewatched The Cat in the Hat (2003). One of the greatest films of all time.
Mint chip ice cream
I don’t have a strong opinion on pineapple on pizza. I’ll eat it, but I never order it for myself. I, however, like having strong and controversial opinions, so I have to ride extra hard for mint chip ice cream. You’re missing out.
Frozen plums
Stick a plum in the freezer. Refreshing summer snack. Just don’t forget about it and leave it in there for too long like I did.
Haute couture
Haute couture week happened recently (It didn’t, it just took me a long time to write this), and I liked it! I love fashion, but I can’t stand it sometimes. I’m too picky to enjoy things. Thankfully, there were some really cool runways this year.
I’m so over people who are like, “Runway fashion is so weird! Who would wear that?” Shut up! It’s art!
The collection that enticed me the most was Thom Browne. For its first venture into couture, I was hella impressed. So excited for future shows
Being as close to topless as possible without being topless
The only good thing about The Idol was the wardrobe. Though its primary purpose was to make Lily-Rose as sexy as possible, I think it’s an accurate representation of what it’s like to be a card-carrying member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. Having small boobs means thinking napkins could make cute going out tops. I mean, I wear scarves as tops. Lily-Rose is so real.
Open-toed shoes
Sorry that it makes you uncomfortable that I have the dogs out. It’s fucking summer. And they’re cute.
Grocery lists
My dad goes to the store without a list and it nearly makes me break out into hives. There’s something seriously wrong with him that cannot be treated with normal medication. I’m thinking ketamine. Or the shocks.
All the lists in my notes app are called “list”, so maybe I’m just as bad as him.
OUT:
Actually doing things at work
Okay. I, like, understand having a job, but it’s crazy that I have to work when I show up. I’m a hostess—I’m paid to stand around and look pretty. I use this privilege to my advantage because whenever I spill or drop something (often), a man will immediately clean it up before I can even finish apologizing. But when somebody has the nerve to ask me to help with something…Oh my God. It’s like you don’t even know me.
I recently had to refill the ice in the fountain machine. I’m 5-foot-[REDACTED] and the step ladder broke. Those events in question lead me to borderline-parkour over some boxes, and half my coworkers were staring at me, anticipating a huge blunder. To everyone’s surprise, it went fine. I was never asked to do it again.
Tiktok
I’m a hypocrite of a TikTok hater. I still use it every few days because I’m a slut for a good ol’ GRWM. Everything else on the app besides stand-up comedy and foxy ladies is trash. It’s just super annoying to me.
Another genre of TikTok I personally enjoy is cultural criticism. I like theory, video essays, and random articles, so having TikTok versions of those is a great thing! Right? RIGHT??!
It's impossible to have a nuanced political conversation on any social media. It can never work out. The internet breeds reactionary behavior, and TikTok might even be worse than Twitter.
In the midst of Colleen Ballinger’s public execution, I posted a TikTok off the dome about the race-related implications of Miranda Sings’ aesthetic. The overdrawn read lips and comically unintelligent personality are reminiscent of minstrelsy, which I read in an academic paper circa 2021 that got lost in the internet ether I suppose. So, believe me or don’t. My thesis was more so about the way racism permeates most of the media we consume without even realizing. But of course, I hated how I worded it, because I kinda framed it as Ballinger purposefully doing it (though it has come out that she’s had racist behavior in the very recent past).
The negative comments I received were all from white people. Duh. It’s so embarrassing to police conversations on race when I can click on your profile to see you’re an 18-year-old with bleached curtain bangs and bedroom décor from Urban Outfitters. It’s tragic, but what did I expect?
Wearing shirts with artists you’ve never listened to
I personally wouldn’t be caught dead doing this. The “name three songs” question would make me want to get hit by a semi. A semi that’s carrying a product I don’t even like. I’m including this so my younger brother gets the hint.
Good TV shows
Prestige TV just took a massive L because of Succession and Barry concluding. What did Max offer as a replacement? The Idol. Yeah, it’s over.
I would also like to announce that I am a proud Riverdale enjoyer. Cope.
Feeling guilty for shopping
We should all be striving to live more sustainably and not falling into consumerist traps. But I’m also striving to have a little fun. Up yours, woke moralists!
I personally try my best to make ethical decisions while shopping. The vast majority of my wardrobe is secondhand. Then a $3 Walmart tank top will seduce me like a neighbor’s pie in the window. Shit happens.
Coquette
You almost can’t separate this aesthetic from a poor relationship with food. Protest all you want, but look up “coquette” on nearly any website. The mood boards don’t feel complete without a picture of someone’s thigh gap. And for the record, thigh gaps are hella inconvenient when you want to put your phone in your lap. Overrated.
Being 20
Boring ass age. I’m 20 right now and it’s just…not that chic, I dunno. 19 is sexy. They literally call it “nasty 19”. I got my belly button pierced when I turned 19. Hot! I did nothing at 20. I’m not 21 so I can’t legally get crunk. 20 is so out.
Elf Bars
Vapes did not need to become square. The physical and financial costs of a nicotine addiction cannot be understated, but at least the Juul was cute.
Writer’s block
If you’re reading this, then I beat it. Now onto all the works in progress staring me down.
Textured bags
There are so many past trends that are totally cringe-worthy in hindsight. The first that comes to mind is the chevron, turquoise, and coral trends in the early 2010s. Textured bags will be seen in the same light in a decade. Watch. It’s not that I think they’re all ugly—I just don’t see them as timeless pieces. From fuzzy to crocodile to puffer, it’s all fleeting.
Miu Miu
The fashion side of social media has become a shrine to Miuccia Prada’s creation. Created as a subsidiary to Prada, the house was created to be its “little sister”, and feature looks that wouldn’t fit with Prada’s overall sleek, simplistic, and modern approach to fashion.
Despite being related to Prada, Miu Miu didn’t have the same mainstream recognition. Until the 2022 matching set that every model and influencer needed. I would say a big part of this press blow-up was the controversy over Paloma Elesser’s i-D cover (Yay, a plus-sized woman on the cover of a magazine in clothing that’s seen as skinny-exclusive! Boo, it was a custom set since Miu Miu doesn’t even carry it in her size!)
Since then, it’s everywhere. Everywhere. Get away from me! Away! It’s cute, but I’m exhausted with seeing it and even more fatigued by the trends it’s brought with it. The cool-toned, grunge-y, late 90s-inspired outfits decorating Instagram are wack! Even Emma Chamberlain’s style is growing less and less cool as it continues to pull from the overdone, flanderized adaptation of the Miu Miu look.
I think part of my problem is that people are missing the point to the brand. Sure, its more recent runways are stylishly drab in color palette and silhouette, but they’ve done plenty of vibrant collections. The whole idea was that Miu Miu was to be Prada but youthful and hip. Yet this is how it’s being styled. Poor Miuccia.
“Weird Girl” core
As a response to the constant microtrend pieces (the House of Sunny dress is the first to come to mind), the new “fuck you” to trends is to put on the weirdest shit you can. Call me a conformist, but I can’t name an instance in which I saw a “weird girl” ‘fit and didn’t think my eyes deserved a personal, hand-written apology. With an “XOXO” at the end.
Stating the obvious here, this is an example of white skinny bitches being able to get away with whatever they want. A lot of them have never even been the “weird girl”. Like, sorry, but no one thinks Bella Hadid is quirky. Clara Perlmutter, known online as tinyjewishgirl, is the only person who can pull off this aesthetic.
Hope you enjoyed! I decided to do something simpler to try and get myself out of this creative block. Things are cooking in the dome piece, so maybe you’ll see more from this blog before summer ends. We’ll see.